flickers.

只是想要暫時瓦解空虛

但現實總會接踵而來

迫切地讓你眉目間多了比過剩咖啡因更可怕的愁緒 似抽筋

痛苦乃自找的

若能看見未來

那這個滿腔恐懼的自我早已不復存在

恐懼甚麼？不就是看不見的未來嗎？

還是恐懼可能即將發生的未來

執意盤算著如何改變可能發生的未來

但 現在呢？

現在何以被蔑視？

存在 也是因為只有現在啊。

Door closed.

Post-rock, on

Improv mind on

Back cracking cracked

CAN’T BREATHE! 

walk. walk. 

backwards..

forward and

breathing breathing,

catching the trail

gone with time

Forever locked and hidden away

no one sees not even me

everyone sees including me! 

Drums, the drums

(and they go) 5, 6, 7, 8 and !

… (*******)

… (%%%%%%)

… (#####)

I realised then, every second of my life I was dancing

Every moment was a dance

I just couldn’t quite see

or I just deliberately forget it

i just, deliberately, forget, things. 

Tear down ‘em old papers

Tear ‘em down through and through

Shake them apart

Bin them ten thousand miles away from their counterparts

Make them lonely and miserable

So the thieves

So the thieves feel lost

And we laugh

Laugh at them until sunrise

Then we sleep on our backs

Thieves and non-thieves, fuse

No longer remember

A long drowsy sleep.

The torn paper bills and old magazines

Crawling back on your back

And you bring them onto your wall

Tiny pieces of sadness, madness, happiness…

Memories are contagious

You break them tiny so when they ever reunite they don’t join back the same way

A new memory, a new way.

是的

是我在執著著沒有錯

是我想了不該想的

是我無謂地加鹽又加醋了

也許其實如此風平又浪靜

而我自以為下了場太陽雨

這只是一場我玩不起的遊戲

潛規則是永不放真心

到頭來卻祇是扯著害怕失去的衣角 然後跺腳 然後發牢騷

那個誰說過 說與不說之間能促成文學
我相信甚至猛點頭了

讓心思好好呼嚕大睡吧

只不過會錯過浪漫早晨

但若一個人面對朝陽而汎淚光

不如不 不如一切如夕陽 一去不復返。

筆於30.1.12 0526

Consume.

Scape

Sounddddd scape

And they all seem to slowly deteriorate

Clusters of twinkle stars they emancipate

Consume nothing

Bling bling blink of an eye

Every moment I am acting

And adrenaline is my drug

Oh yes hoho yes

The drumbeat the drummer boy.

No thoughts no definition

Forgive ourselves living

Frantic

Concerns of the other

Body heat bodies move

Erupted.

Zoning,

Left the bass guitar, pondering.

Wet floors, jazzy

Red waters, jazzy

Yellow deep fried, jazzy

Exhale white fumes, jazzy

Sour liquid, jazzy

Tasmanian oysters, jazzy

An Indian white moustache, jazzy

V-back upside down, jazzy

Cigar mmmm cigar, jazzy

Repeating blades, spinning, 360, ja zz ie.

Bloodie vines, flies, stained, ops, jazzy.

墨水 覆水難收。

At a certain point of ecstasy, limbs fall, tension dissolves.

It is bright enough to merely see, in the eyes of others, the soul of me.

A spider on the ceiling

I look up

I look at it

I stare at it

For a very very very long time

I see scattered webs below it

I hear piano to the right of it

I gradually see nothing but blur contours

Then I hear distant chirping

A fraction of time dies forever

And your eyelids bring you back to a time that you wished you had existed

And then more time

And you thought one day you would actually be great

But that one day

That one day.

groovy cells

hotel lightings

spinning fake candles

moving in fake winds

sexy maid standing

lurking 

pinching salt for chocolate cake

cake cake more cake

urge to purge

purgatory 

*

madness.

fade the night 

sky of mighty

kingdom shattering clouds of nine ten eleven and twelve 

a diamond stolen

bury down deep down

up the light the spirit.

goodbye ;)

爆破有時

化開亦有時

昨路相逢 

其實我

地板冰冷有時

甘露蒸發亦有時

謀逆只在情意相煎

黃蓮玩弄舌根

苦澀不言喻

待月色皎潔卻恨晚

獨行者早揚長而去 莫回首

追隨風聲 大半輩子

可不曾聽見悅耳之音 消愁之樂

只有往孤傲山嶺前進

掛著半絲牽掛 

也許最動聽未曾移動而竟默默聆聽了千百年歲的悲哀與塵埃

長不出花結不出果的山腳下

寸草不生更顯其孤獨之嶇

方圓一百里 不留人不留痕 只有風沙漂流過的味道

難行還得行

你不動我還得動

前進孤傲山峰 前進更不可預知的孤傲里去

I woke up and it felt all wrong

Wrong, written all over the place

Edges of bed, wrong

Smell of the sheets, wrong

Time on the clock, wrong

What was right, however

Was that I clearly knew that all was wrong

I have woken up in the wrong place

(All I wanted was a white ceiling, so my desires would melt and would never come back to haunt me)

Far, far away

I saw a dandy lion, waiting

Guarding a pride fiercely, sublime

His eyes, teary

His mane danced solemnly, fighting the rhythm of the fearless wind

The world I see in front of me,

Stopped.

(It was a repercussion of a dream that I couldn’t remember anything of)

All was left was this long lingering feeling of wrong

The leftovers are the hardest to deal with

You don’t know what went before them and what should be done after

Kill them or cure them or live with them

The demand for attention is higher and taller than the moon

Airing your skin and thoughts don’t help

Creep.

(Today I’m a writer, tomorrow a dancer, day after tomorrow a photographer, yet everyday a dreamer that forgets it’s dream)

Black against black

My finger tips couldn’t stop churning

Butter and bread

I have missed my breakfast rituals

Too late for sunbathing

Too early for snowball fighting

(Patches of broken promises, repatching death and innocent wonders, till the morning breeze departed, till the morning dew subsided)

Halo

Halogen light

Heaven and earth and hell

(I couldn’t recall anything now, that silent drug that illuminates the day and gently pushes your id at night)

Let it go

Let it settle

Let it and it will go.